Done writing about that trip.
Sort of.
I think I will be processing it as often as I let myself think about it.
I think about that trip two ways. One is very positive. I met a lot of great people, it was a fun crew. Courtney came out to California a few weeks later to be my wilderness nanny at family camp. I went for a day hike with Emily when I was in Hawaii with my family in November. I think fondly about going back to McCarthy, to the Wrangells, and even stepping foot on the ice again. I think hard about seeing that big jahkulhlaup in action, there is apparently a two week window in July when it's an option.
And I think about it in terms of what it could have been. It could have been a time for hiking and relaxing and swimming and spending more time with the tundra and the landscape, not fearing it and dropping tears on it and wondering if my life and who I thought I was in it was over.
As I think about the 2016 season, I think about this trip and how it won't happen again because of course, it's a different season. I'm in a different emotional landscape, even if the tundra feels familiar and the same.
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